I hate to lose.
I mean, I really hate to lose. At anything.
And my most hated way of losing is when I actively screwed up despite knowing better, and did not do everything I could to win.
Yet, as time passes, I start to see some value in defeat. Oh, not in the defeat itself. No, no, no. A hatred of losing and love of winning is healthy and good. The opposite is disastrously bad.
But on the occasions when defeat has its way, there is probably some value to be had in it.
You know, when you're in a sad, low, and defeated mood, your chest gets kind of tight, your mouth dry and tasting of acid.
It is, objectively, unpleasant.
Yet after I get done kicking and stomping my feet and calm down, I've found you can almost appreciate the taste of defeat like a particularly acidic wine.
I quit drinking a little more than five years ago, so I don't get to experience the bitter, slightly poisonous slightly cloudy mentality from a strongly acidic wine... but there is something to it, y'know?
And thinking just like that, the defeated feeling gives way to reflectiveness, which is infinitely healthier and more positive than despair. Yes, perhaps these are lessons here. Ah, now I can scale my arrogance back, and not be defeated in larger measures at a later time. It's not good that this error was made, but I am still at a point where I can recover from it - much better now than when an entire empire would crumble later.
And I think that's it -
Perspective can transform how you're feeling. Sadness gives way to reflection, defeat gives way to recovery and rebuilding, anger gives way to determination.
The worst of the emotions are rare, and the positive emotions are heightened afterwards from the contrast. A certain perspective - enjoying the acidity of defeat like a glass of wine, or savoring sadness for a moment for its rarity, or harnessing the adrenalin rush from anger into something productive - this perspective makes even the most debilitating of emotions serve you dutifully.