I've spent a lot of time analyzing my own successes and failures. When something goes particularly well, I want to figure out why, distill the gains, and repeat the process. When something goes poorly, I want to debrief, analyze, and do better next time.
Working hands-on with other team members, volunteers, collaborators at GiveGetWin, working in consulting, and doing other creative projects and sharing information with smart friends also shows me patterns of what works and what doesn't work.
And I can't help but note that, when things are going poorly, there can be two radically different types of reasons why.
The first is if you feel besieged, so to speak. This is when you're very aware you want to mediate, want to write, want to eat healthy, whatever -- but you feel a strong pressure not to, inner conflict, a huge fight and lots of pleasantness.
It's really unenjoyable if you're going through a phase where you feel under siege and conflicted like that.
The other way people fail is much more sneaky and insidious. It's like a saboteur has infiltrated the command center, and dispatches that should be sent out to are just... lost somewhere along the way. Orders don't go through, information doesn't process, the whole effort gums up with anyone really knowing why.
The former -- when you feel directly under attack of conflict and tension -- is much more unpleasant than the latter, but I would argue that it's closer to success.
The latter -- where you're just unaware of what you should be doing, not considering the right information, not taking action, and not even really struggling -- it's more dangerous, because there's no warning signs. You can easily lose weeks, months, years to this.
Yet, the latter sort of defeat and setback is more pleasant. It's the difference between going into the boxing ring and getting knocked around or not going into the ring at all. In either case, you're not winning boxing matches. But the person who doesn't compete doesn't have any defeat or setback to be disappointed about. The person who doesn't compete never has to cringe at the failures of will, breakdown of attempts, lack of skill or knowledge leading to poor outcomes.
And yet, as comfortable as complacency is, it never once has led to successes and triumphs, whereas the person taking their knocks and blows -- even when under complete siege, pressure, and failing -- is moving closer to grabbing the fruits that come of action.